Her open hand caught me by surprise squarely across my left cheek sending me tumbling to the floor. I lay there looking up at the woman who bore me, the woman who had raised me for the last seventeen years and I did not recognize her. Her face red with anger and hurt, her voice raising to a screeching pitch was now almost inaudible. Little pictures of my childhood flashed before my eyes and only then did I see the sin of my betrayal. No, I did not seduce her bastard husband but over the last year his steadfast pressure to woo me into bed was successful. I never meant to hurt my Mother but I had in a most despicable way. She was right. I am trash!It has been two months since I last saw or even spoken to my Mom. Everyday I regret my decision to fuck that bastard. Sex has ruled my destiny since I was twelve. I loved masturbating but she caught me and told me I was an evil child. I could not sit on my ass for days but still I could not stop touching myself. Then came the boys. Soft words. Don't tell me you've never kissed a girl." He hung his head. He was ashamed of having never... "Oh no! You're still a virgin, too, aren't you?" He nodded.What was I going to do now? I knew he'd been out on dates with several girls, but to never have gotten to first base? No wonder my girlfriends all raved about what a perfect guy he was and then went out with someone else."You know it's not going to be like anything you've read or written?" I really should have been more awake when I had this conversation. He was starting to make sense to me."What's not?" Kissing me. You're not just going to attack my lips and thrust your tongue down my throat. And if you grab my boobs on the first kiss, you'll be sorry you ever wrote word one." You mean... ??"Just keep your tongue in your mouth. Okay?" He nodded. I leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips. I didn't rush it. I wanted him to remember his first kiss. It did nothing for me, but I could hear his breathing speed up. I broke it.
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